Born Under A Big Black Woman

I have been thinking of late, about a book I started ages ago. An autobiographical tale of my dysfunctional life. I have tried going back to what I already written, which is about five chapters of some semi-useful stuff. I say semi-useful because I will inevitably have to go back and re-work most of it.

It started out being sort of first person retrospective that got rather whiny quickly! But having discussed much of my life recently with some friends, I began to remember some rather absurd stories about my life.

I used to joke around about my life being stamped with a bit of the "messiah complex" because the first words uttered by my dear old dad when he found out my mother was pregnant with me, was.... "Jesus Christ!!!"

And much of my life has been filled with far greater indignities. Things a person just should not have to deal with in their lives. Like the tale I already have posted on my website, " What's in a name?" The saga about my struggle for my personal identity at the age of five. It's a good read if ya get the chance.

But it got me thinking about how much my life has been affected by two popular sayings. The first being, " May you be born in interesting times!" Which is sort of a Chinese curse meaning the rest of your life will be unconventional,and it will be entertaining. And the other one which is just a great line from many R&B songs, " Being born under a bad sign". Which basically means that your life will be an uphill struggle!.

My mom had told me the tale about my birth. I was the last of four children and the biggest one she carried. Which turns out was a good thing. I was also the easiest for her, as she more or less had me on the way to the hospital.

Well, .... not exactly, but she was crowning in the waiting room. And upon hearing that this was occurring, a large black nurse tried to sit on my mother's lap. I gather she thought this would keep her from having me then and there. I can appreciate that they just were not ready for her, but damn.... from my perspective that is a pretty rude first introduction to the world. Not even out of the womb yet, and someone is objecting to me being born!

But I survived and moved on to bigger and better catastrophes. The rest is sort of what I am working on, a saga comprised of stories of epic and unbelievable proportions that makes up my life. And I am still alive to tell it, which is an amazing fact in itself. Now I have to start writing these little gems all down, and putting them into some coherent order, and then deciding if there is even a point to it all?

More than likely it will just be a comical tale, that others can read to feel better about their own lives! As long as I get a laugh, and a few royalty checks!